It all started when I was 21 years old and moving in with my boyfriend (now husband). When my mother frequently talked to me about my soon-to-be domestic life, I would tell her that I would never have dinner ready on the table when he got home because I’m an emancipated woman and don’t feel like that it is my duty or job to provide for my male counterpart in that way (also I was well aware that he had survived more than 10 years of living without someone cooking for him every night). Another point was that I didn’t even know how to cook. I had lived on my own for some time but lived on frozen pizza, various fast food restaurants and for a “healthy” meal I would go to the university dining hall.
Now 4 years later, I love to cook. Yet, I often fail to have dinner on the table come 7 o’clock because I have so many things on my various to-do lists. Nevertheless, I have come to love cooking for my family and cherish the time I get to spend with them at our cosy table. During my parental leave from work and school I would frequently try out new recipes and try to surprise myself and the husband (not always in a good way I must admit though).
When we were looking for a new and bigger apartment the past year(s), I frequently thought: “I never want to own or live in a house. It is simply too much stuff to take care of and too many new responsibilities and items on to-do lists.” Yet, having a toddler who loves to run around outside made me miss a small garden space in which she could roam about without me worrying about her running off or getting hit by a car. Less traffic noise that has come to bother me just recently (see what I mean, I’m getting old) would also be a plus.
We will probably not own a house for quite some time and I still think it would be a lot of work and am not sure if having a private outdoor play area is worth it, especially because Munich’s playgrounds and parks are always well-equipped, fenced and carefully taken care of.
Overall though I think, having a child changed a lot in me. It resulted in a change of perspective, priorities shift (suddenly it is not important to live in an area where the subway takes you home at 4 in the morning). Maybe I now embrace domesticity more, even though I still don’t believe in conventional gender roles of me cooking, washing, caring for everyone and the husband working and mowing the yard on weekends. Maybe it is also that we always have so much stuff to do that I’m just happy for the nice quiet moments we can share as a family (although Rosalie never really is quiet since she recently became a little chatterbox but I love that too).